The World Humanoid Robot Games gave us a ringside seat,
To robots failing spectacularly at basic human feats.
OK, they’re faster than Usain,
But their limitations are plain,
And they seem to be best suited as hilarious meme tweets.
Trump’s renaming of Lake Ontario has created a litmus test —
Yield, and rename it Lake America, at Donald Trump’s behest,
Like Google and Apple, which already capitulated,
Changing the name just like Dear Leader stipulated,
But there’s one defiant holdout — the original mapping site, Mapquest.
Donald Trump Jr. fancies himself a bit of a bon vivant,
And since he took over 1789 Capital, the firm’s gone buoyant.
Its assets swelled from $200 million,
In just a few months to over $3 billion,
An arc that lawmakers say ain’t just savvy, it’s clairvoyant.
In Trump’s “Art of the Deal” you always go hard for the score,
When negotiations are almost finished, you ask for something more.
But according to Prime Minister Mark Carney,
All Trump wanted was his country’s sovereignty,
And that’s how Trump’s tariffs started a new Canadian trade war.
*Common in rural Alberta, Canada. It means to be strong or face a challenge bravely.
Donald Trump’s latest tariff move beggars belief,
He says he’s providing some needed price relief.
But the move will most certainly harm
The folks who own ranches and farms.
Trump thinks he’ll win the midterms with cheap imported beef.
He’s upended the traditional food pyramid, he wants you to know,
And he’s protected us from vaccinations, though not measles and polio.
He’s tackling the goal of food affordability,
He’s extolling roadkill, which is cheap — there’s plenty!
And now Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is going to have his own TV cooking show.
